Selamat Hari Raya

Just a quick note to wish everyone Selamat Hari Raya..Maaf zahir batin and don't forget to invite me to your open house..hehe...I will notify u guys if I'm doing one this year...Enjoy ur holidays! Muahhhxx!!!

Whoa....!

I don't believe it..there are so many grumpy ppl out there!

Despite the fact that they spam me and the others with 30-40 emails, they also started to pick a fight with each other! How frustrating! and the so called leaders who we think were suppose to help out, just ended up making things worse..sheeshh..how immature! I'm glad I'm out of that group of ppl..but too bad,some of them are really a nice bunch of ppl...I guess that was all the ego talking from them... *sigh

Raya is around the corner!

Hehe..I know..its not sooo around the corner..but I'm excited...coz I'm taking a long holiday..! 1 week plus the following Monday..still on holiday! Yay! Even tho I would just prolly be spending time at home..but at least i'll be relaxing and relaxing..and relaxing! hehehehe....


Just a quick update on what happen last week, I manage to behave...YES..that is the right term..after doing several solat hajat..I became more calm and finally some sense is going to my head..Thank God..Alhamdulillah... =)
I'm not going to stop here..I still need ur guidance Al-Mighty..plz guide me..Amin...

When I met him, we enjoyed our evening and managed to spend it without goin thru a fight.all happy2 and 'matured'..hahaha..I think I may have managed to accept the truth bit by bit..altho I still..uh..nevermind..don't even make me go there! Yikess! *Bites nail =P

Anyway, my parents and I went to Keramat and bought some kuih raya last weekend...coz Along baked some cookies that will last only for a few days.. (sikit sgt..and hangus sket kat base dia...hahahaha) ok2..tak baik ckp org..I pon tak reti buat kuih ok! lol~

We already tempah our baju raya..and this year...tak larat...i repeat...tak larat nak anto kad raya kat sape2..bukannye korang balas! hahaha...sms sudah! So preparation for raya is already 8/10...tinggal duit raya je tak tukar lagi plus kemas2 rumah..and nak abiskan puasa jugak...*wink2...

"Attention to my little hobbits...opps..ehem3..my siblings and cousins..ur duit raya is not going to increase this year..coz Angah is considered baru start keje kat company baru...so be patient and pray I'll get a pay raise then I will double up ur ang pows!" Amin...

Hehe...till next post...smile! =P

How do I feel ?

I did a really stupid thing yesterday. I met him for buka puasa..suppose to be a happy event...It went well the first hour after we break fast..then it turned ugly..I turned ugly! Huwaaa...now I regret it...no use crying over spilt milk eh? *sigh

All I want was some answers..but being me..plus not thinking straight at that point..I have to disagree with everything..I think I was trying to put all the blame on him and make him feel guilty..but in the end I ask myself...what for? He's still going to belong to someone else anyway! Its just a waste of time and energy..I have become more and more inconsiderate than I thought..what happen to me????

And for that, I pay the price..today he doesn't want to see me. He said..we'll just end up in another fight. I almost had to beg him to agree to see me tomorrow..sheesh! Talk about desperation! This weekend he is not in KL..so I'll be alone again..better get used to this..coz I'll be alone sooner than I think..well..alone meaning that I'm not with him la that is..

I don't even know if he still loves me anymore..this phase that we're going thru..all I can think of is he needs to concentrate on his new life..why would he care about me anymore? Oh crap...all this thinking is making me more tired and stress for no reason..worse still..its effecting my work!

A friend suggested to do sembahyang istiqarah..let God help me decide what to do..I guess I will have to do that...keep on praying and doa too..and hopefully I can see things clearly again...I really2 put myself into a big mess this time..and its too late to turn back.. *Cry

Arrogant *******

Hmpphh! So ungrateful....So selfish...So immature...and yes...So arrogant!!! I'll show u my arrogant...eeee....geram!!! Grrr....

*Calm down Farah...

Today I'm going to meet the ex-D-Linkers for break fast at Kampung Baru somewhere...at least can catch up with them...it will be good to hang around other ppl I guess...forget that I have problems for a while..yeah..lookin' forward :)

And oh yea...annoucement...I am looking to get a kitty...our cat just dissapeared..dunno what happened to him...So if anybody has little kitties that they want to donate...plz donate to me..hehe... =)

Pain

I can feel it coming...its really happening to me now...I'm scared and extremely devastated...it hurts! :(

I need stronger antibodies!

I just recovered from diarrhea, now I'm having fever!

I still went to work tho for the past 2 days...totally freezing at the office..I segan kat my boss...last week I took MC for 2 days..this week takkan nak MC lagi? But oh my2..do I feel so weak...Dr Ejannz..If ur reading this...what is the quickest way to recover from fever besides meds? Hehehe....

Earlier today when we had a forum session with Shakta and Thorsten..waa...I felt like my bones were shaking inside out! So bloody cold..that I had to walk out of the auditorium....and its still very cold outside..definitely the fever is getting to me...

When I got home, I wrapped myself in my duvet..I can feel my face going very2 hot...felt like smoke were coming out..but I'm cold...waaa....tak sukanye demam!! Later tonite after my dad comes back from Terawih, he's going to bring me to see the doctor...and yeah..might be taking MC after all for tomorrow.. *sigh

Come to think of it...last week, I was taking care of that someone because he fall sick..ntah2..menjangkit kot ! hahaha...my antibody not good enuff la that means!!! Aiyaa...now I'm the one who needs taking care of...who wants to volunteer?? hahaha...

Oh well..at least I can rest tomorrow..instead of trying to constantly wrap myself with my jacket/shawl and at the same time still do work! Multitasking babe..haha..Off to bed...wish me well people...gudnite~

I leave it to God

Selamat berpuasa everyone...Semoga bulan ini dapat dilalui dgn penuh berkat and jiwa yg tenang..Amin..

As for me..I sgt2 la tak keruan skrg...I know its not good..esp in the month of Ramadhan..So I pray to God..he will help me get thru all this..

There's only 2 months left before his title changes...What happens to me then? :-(
It feels so unfair...and I know I shudn't be complaining because this is all God's fate..Wishing for a miracle is either too cruel...or too selfish of me...or there is also this possibility that the miracle is not going to happen at all (99.9999% kot)...arghhh!

My friends and family are the ones trying to push me to move on...but it seems like I'm the stubborn one here..I could not just let go...not yet...and I'm so afraid of what will happen to me when that day comes.....*sigh

When I see him, I am always hoping for happy endings..but these few days...all it has been was just conflicts...more and more conflicts..I ask him.."Do u hate me or what?" and he replies.."Don't ask unnecessary questions" (......)

If I don't say anything...its just a quiet outing (silence all the way)..If I say something..its always the wrong thing...arghhh....what else am I suppose to do???? I know many of u are thinking..why the heck is Farah still going out with this guy..well here's the truth..the stupid real truth....I don't want to waste the days that I could still hang out with him whereby he still has no official strings attached...I mean..after this...I don't even know if its possible...and thinking of it just hurts my feelings...

By now its so obvious who is the bad person in this love triangle kan? And maybe that is why God is punishing me..even though I sayang sgt2 this person...but somehow...org lain would probably still say I am the bad guy...

It felt like I already met my soulmate..but I could not have him...It's so hard...!! I feel so frustrated and tired fighting with my own feelings...and I am on the brink of losing it..Oh God...plz help me...

Ya Allah...Di bulan yg mulia ini, Aku berdoa pada-Mu, agar Kau kuatkan hatiku menghadapi semua dugaan dan cabaranMu..Tunjukkanlah padaku jalan yang benar...If he is not meant for me, let me accept all this in a good way..and hopefully there is a much more better person for me out there..Amin...