Arrogant *******

Hmpphh! So ungrateful....So selfish...So immature...and yes...So arrogant!!! I'll show u my arrogant...eeee....geram!!! Grrr....

*Calm down Farah...

Today I'm going to meet the ex-D-Linkers for break fast at Kampung Baru somewhere...at least can catch up with them...it will be good to hang around other ppl I guess...forget that I have problems for a while..yeah..lookin' forward :)

And oh yea...annoucement...I am looking to get a kitty...our cat just dissapeared..dunno what happened to him...So if anybody has little kitties that they want to donate...plz donate to me..hehe... =)

Pain

I can feel it coming...its really happening to me now...I'm scared and extremely devastated...it hurts! :(

I need stronger antibodies!

I just recovered from diarrhea, now I'm having fever!

I still went to work tho for the past 2 days...totally freezing at the office..I segan kat my boss...last week I took MC for 2 days..this week takkan nak MC lagi? But oh my2..do I feel so weak...Dr Ejannz..If ur reading this...what is the quickest way to recover from fever besides meds? Hehehe....

Earlier today when we had a forum session with Shakta and Thorsten..waa...I felt like my bones were shaking inside out! So bloody cold..that I had to walk out of the auditorium....and its still very cold outside..definitely the fever is getting to me...

When I got home, I wrapped myself in my duvet..I can feel my face going very2 hot...felt like smoke were coming out..but I'm cold...waaa....tak sukanye demam!! Later tonite after my dad comes back from Terawih, he's going to bring me to see the doctor...and yeah..might be taking MC after all for tomorrow.. *sigh

Come to think of it...last week, I was taking care of that someone because he fall sick..ntah2..menjangkit kot ! hahaha...my antibody not good enuff la that means!!! Aiyaa...now I'm the one who needs taking care of...who wants to volunteer?? hahaha...

Oh well..at least I can rest tomorrow..instead of trying to constantly wrap myself with my jacket/shawl and at the same time still do work! Multitasking babe..haha..Off to bed...wish me well people...gudnite~

I leave it to God

Selamat berpuasa everyone...Semoga bulan ini dapat dilalui dgn penuh berkat and jiwa yg tenang..Amin..

As for me..I sgt2 la tak keruan skrg...I know its not good..esp in the month of Ramadhan..So I pray to God..he will help me get thru all this..

There's only 2 months left before his title changes...What happens to me then? :-(
It feels so unfair...and I know I shudn't be complaining because this is all God's fate..Wishing for a miracle is either too cruel...or too selfish of me...or there is also this possibility that the miracle is not going to happen at all (99.9999% kot)...arghhh!

My friends and family are the ones trying to push me to move on...but it seems like I'm the stubborn one here..I could not just let go...not yet...and I'm so afraid of what will happen to me when that day comes.....*sigh

When I see him, I am always hoping for happy endings..but these few days...all it has been was just conflicts...more and more conflicts..I ask him.."Do u hate me or what?" and he replies.."Don't ask unnecessary questions" (......)

If I don't say anything...its just a quiet outing (silence all the way)..If I say something..its always the wrong thing...arghhh....what else am I suppose to do???? I know many of u are thinking..why the heck is Farah still going out with this guy..well here's the truth..the stupid real truth....I don't want to waste the days that I could still hang out with him whereby he still has no official strings attached...I mean..after this...I don't even know if its possible...and thinking of it just hurts my feelings...

By now its so obvious who is the bad person in this love triangle kan? And maybe that is why God is punishing me..even though I sayang sgt2 this person...but somehow...org lain would probably still say I am the bad guy...

It felt like I already met my soulmate..but I could not have him...It's so hard...!! I feel so frustrated and tired fighting with my own feelings...and I am on the brink of losing it..Oh God...plz help me...

Ya Allah...Di bulan yg mulia ini, Aku berdoa pada-Mu, agar Kau kuatkan hatiku menghadapi semua dugaan dan cabaranMu..Tunjukkanlah padaku jalan yang benar...If he is not meant for me, let me accept all this in a good way..and hopefully there is a much more better person for me out there..Amin...

@ home...On Sick Leave

Sigh...Suppose to be sick at home but I'm still doing work..VPN through my office network from home...penatnyeeee!

On another side note...cried to sleep last nite...
This person is really making me sad...Come to think of it..ntah2 sebab tu I fall sick! ceh..

I feel yet again..Syiok Sendiri after reading someone's blog...and perhaps I am in the way of everything????? Oh God..please help me find the right path....I know in my heart that this feeling is true..why is it not happening to me!??!?! Give me all the kesabaran in the world..Amin...

Ok la..really bored now..Back to work...Wish me luck for presentation this Friday~~

P/S : My friend Shu-Wen is off to South Africa at 1am tonite..wish u a very safe journey my friend..Goin to miss ya!

Someone cooked me dinner today!

Happy! Happy! Happy!

For the 1st time someone very special to me cooked me dinner..It was pasta with cream sauce! Yummmy! I am so "terharu"...and I feel so happy..*Grins!... =D
Thankssss! Sayang u !! (.")(",)

Lost

Sementara tgh rajin ni..cepat2 coret isi hati..huhu..

I am basically lost at the moment..lost with so many stuff hanging around in my mind...one is work..really trying to prove myself as a BTA ! I don't even want to start commenting on that! hahah.. Cammon Farah..u can do it ! Don't give up and try ur best ! I love my job! I love my job! hahahahahha~~~

2nd thing lingering on my mind is non other than my love...hmmm..soon to be leading his own life..Why doesn't a miracle happen to me? I am lost for words whenever I try to pretend happy in front of him..where as in my heart...I'm crying! I actually did cry in front of him yesterday...and I think I hurt his feelings just by doing that..I'm sorry dear...How do I contain these tears when I feel defeated..lost...It's really game over.. =(

I wish I was the one to end up happily ever after with you...I wish for so many things that could only just be a dream in my sleep now...Besides my family, I have never cared for someone this much in my entire life..I hope u know that..Love u always...